SOS

Raising kids is hard work. Sometimes I just don't know if I'm doing right or wrong. It is hard to be the comforter, enforcer, listener, mom, and dad all in one. I am grateful for the help that I have, don't get me wrong, but it is I who will ultimately be accountable, and I just hope that I am towing the line. I try to do what i think is right, not be to strict, but not be a pushover. Sometimes I feel bad and want to give in and give them all they want because they got a raw deal, but I know that does not do anyone any good. I know that I have a lot to learn, and I am more than willing. Some days are harder than others and lately I have been overwhelmed. I know I'll make it, somehow. When they are babies and small kids, you really don't think that the day will come when they will become young men and women, and then before you know it they are closer than ever to becoming men and women. I never really thought much about who they were gonna be and that I was responsible for shaping that person. Maybe because I was so young, and over all I think that I could have done worse, and now more than ever I have to hold on to the reigns and lead them into this next stage of life. Unfortunatley I am in unchartered territory, and all the responsibilty falls on me. I have really made some crummy choices and I hope and pray that they learned some lessons with me. All I can do is apologize and pick myself back up and show them what happens when the choices you make do not align with what God wants and what you know is right. It is a learning process for us all and we all grew up together. But I thank God for them everyday and I do not regret the way it all went down, not one bit. Now I completely understand why people say wait, wait on kids, marriage, everything. If I could only drill it in the heads of young people today that until your a little older you just don't get it, none of it, and some of it maybe you never get. Being a grownup sucks sometimes, and I have learned recently that being the bad guy sucks all the time! xoxoxo