Weight Loss Journey: Take 1,265,045 ACTION! 🎬

Here I go....again. I'm taking control, or attempting to. I am not 100% comfortable with the topic of my weight. It's a touchy subject and writing this makes me feel vulnerable, and I don't like that at all. But I am more determined than ever. Maybe I need this vulnerability. But first I need to preface this blog with this statement: My weight does not define me the person, it does not make me a better or worse person. It makes me no less beautiful. It doesn't make me love myself more or less. It doesn't make my boyfriend love me more or less. I am confident at any size, I have been all of them. I completely believe that if you are beautiful inside it radiates outside. Yes, I want to lose weight. Yes, I think it would make me even more confident. I want to for so many reasons, but #1 is my health. I will never be a size 2, hell I'll prob never be a 10, and that's ok. I simply want to be healthier. 

 I'm going with good ol faithful Weight Watchers....Again......for the hundredth time. I know I have personally paid at least one of Jennifer Hudson's paychecks. And I could also lead meetings because I know all the tricks, advice, mantras, key phrases, emotional triggers, etc. For example: Moderation. Drink water. Food tracking. Drink water. When dining out box up half your meal before eating.  Drink water. Eat veggies. Drink water. Eat fruits. Drink water. Exercise. Drink water before meal. Eat. If still hungry drink more water, wait 20 mins. Water. Water. Water. My emotional food triggers: all of them. I eat when I'm happy, sad, depressed, angry, lonely, bored, anxious, excited, sleepy, STRESSED...the list goes on and on. I have to be pretty dang depressed not to eat, and that only lasts a few days. In saying all of that, WW really does work. All of it works. Which bodes the question: Why do I quit? 

I just don't know the answer to that question. I'm trying to figure that out. One thing I do know is that I'm going to keep trying, I'm not gonna give up. I'm going to try to write about it this time. Maybe if I share all my struggles, victories, milestones, and set backs, it will help. If you feel inclined to read them, great, if not that's great too. 

Yesterday and today have been pretty easy, Day 1 and 2 when my enthusiasm is still up, I'm still stoked. I'm ready to drink 18 gallons of water and go work out and quit all my vices, and then by Day 6 I'm crashing. And then it's the weekend.....the absolute hardest days for me. I'll tackle that as it comes though, it's only Tuesday. Right now I'm working on cutting back to 1 Diet Mt Dew a day and 1 glass of sweet tea, Lord help me. 

As for today, I am pleased with the decisions that I made thus far. Could I have changed a few yesterday? Sure could have, but I'll take that and apply it to today. I'm gonna take it one day at a time. Ready, set, go.